I went to work and it seemed as though people were not giving me time to share my ideas.
I was frustrated and was annoyed for the day.
I went to church and felt weird vibes from people I considered friends.
I was confused and thought about it for the rest of the day.
I was talking to a friend who disagreed with me on something and we both got annoyed. We didn't talk for a few days.
Now these were three different days. Three different times that I allowed my emotions and perceptions to negatively affect my day and those around me.
After realizing that I had completely wasted a perfectly good day, by choosing to dwell in the emotions from those moments, I had to remind myself of the following.
- I have been the person who has made another person feel uncomfortable before.
- I have been the person who felt like it wasn't my fault for another person's change in mood. When it really was.
- I've knowingly done something that I know I would ask God to forgive me for later. Fully aware that that is not how His grace and mercy works.
- God has blessed me with health and strength, not to be ignored or misused just because of how I feel.
The following week, I went back into the same meeting at work, went back to the same church, and spoke with the same friend. Now, although hints of the same "vibes" were present, my reaction and thoughts about them had shifted dramatically. I walked in expecting joy and peace knowing that although I could not speak for others, I could attest to the fact that my interaction was not coming from a place of inauthenticity. I reminded myself that I will never know the entirety of any situation. Many of us don't know ourselves, much less, another person.
So why do I write this? I write this because these experiences reminded me that we have a responsibility to be our best selves regardless of how we feel. For me, my best self is energetic, passionate, joyful and honest. I allowed my emotions to be hijacked. I justified that hijack by choosing to allow the actions of others to be my valid claim. Now, let's be clear. Sometimes, you will be completely valid in your reason to behave differently towards those who have treated you poorly however, doing so causes you to be the furthest thing from who you really are. And that is never the goal.
Today, tomorrow and each day following, remember to walk in light and full pursuit of doing the best you can regardless of your environment. Those who appreciate it and love you, will rise to meet you. Those who don't, will question you. Regardless of who those people are, put your best self forward and walk in peace.
Alicia, KAE Founder